Many of us spend a large portion of our lives trying to find something we’re “good at.”
All of us are born being good at something. These things are called talents.
There are also gifts, which are different in that they require some self-discovery and time to be brought to light.
Decorating was something God revealed to me, an unknown gift that I had the opportunity to learn and craft as time has gone on.
Similarly, every book ever written, every piece of innovative technology ever produced, every painting hanging in a museum, these are all things that individuals discovered and developed over time.
And yet, most of us assume these people were always good at it.
We would never want to admit what the first step towards being good at something is.
So, what is the first step towards this discovery and development?
Sucking at it.
That’s right. As “Jake the Dog” says:
Sucking at something is the first step to being sort of good at something.
I have no idea who “Jake the Dog” is, but he sure has some sound advice.
Something so simple and yet so profound at the same time.
So predictable and yet shocking all the same.
Who wants to tell themselves that in order to get good at something, they must first suck at it?
But that’s just the truth and the way it works.
We live in a world where, when we see someone successful, see someone who is really gifted and good at something, we assume things.
These are the things we assume about people who are good at things:
- That it just happened for them.
- That they’ve always been good at it.
- That it came easy.
Let’s backtrack on our own selves for a minute, shall we?
I want you to think of something in your own life that you are good at.
Maybe it’s baking. Or sewing. Or taking photos.
Whatever it is, you didn’t whip up a pie with floral shaped custard at the age of three. Maybe you were practicing, but it wasn’t where it is today.
You also didn’t sew an intricate dress at seven and voila, there’s the professional sewer! Or the talented photographer.
These things develop over years of time, they take practice, they take individuals believing in us and pushing us to do the best we can do.
They also require for us to believe in ourselves.
The overnight success stories?
False alarm on those, friends.
They’re great, but they’re not realistic.
Have you heard of Canadian Olympic Medalists Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir?
They have multiple championships in various competitive fields of figure skating (at least 24 the last I heard), they were the youngest Olympians and Canadians to ever win gold at the Olympics – in their home country no less!
I’ll never forget when they entered the rink and skated to the center of the ice in Vancouver 2010, the first night of their program.
They drew together, foreheads touching, and you just knew something epic was about to go down.
The entire country fell in love with them. Everyone was mesmerized.
Never mind PyeongChang 2018.
Audiences, this time the world over, were so enthralled by them that they were getting talked about more than Prince Harry and Meghan Markle.
Why am I talking about this?
Anyone could have watched them and thought, “What an incredible duo. Look at how talented they are, the way they move across the ice.”
True, yes.
But most of that audience would never have known what it took to develop that craft.
Skating together since seven and nine years old.
The years of sacrifice it took, of ruthless early mornings and practices, moving away from home at 13 and 15, all the birthday parties and social events missed.
Was it their choice? Yes.
But the fact remains, they developed their skills.
They didn’t skate to the center of the rink in Vancouver 2010 without years of experience and history behind them.
In fact, in 2010 at the Olympic Games, Tessa was suffering from a shin injury so severe (which had been ongoing for some time) that she couldn’t even walk down to the athlete’s cafeteria most days but had to be carried down by someone.
Of course they were doing therapy and everything they could with the symptoms, and even though she was still suffering she pushed through regardless.
If that’s not resilience, I’m not sure what is.
To be good at something won’t come without some pain.
Whether it’s emotional, mental, spiritual or physical, there will be a pull that might make you so uncomfortable you’ll wonder if you can make it another day.
But you can’t give up.
You can’t assume that everyone else has always been good at what they’re doing and that it’s just not meant to be for you.
You know how often I’ve wanted to quit on this blog and my Instagram account? A handful of times for sure.
But only when things get really really hard or when I start comparing myself.
I’ve learned to reel my mind back in and focus on what I’m doing, at how far I’m come.
It’s just as important to celebrate the wins along the way as it is to look ahead at where you’re going.
Before I continue, let’s recap the assumptions we make about people who are good at things:
- That it just happened for them.
- That they’ve always been good at it.
- That it came easy.
Overnight success stories aren’t realistic. You want to know what is realistic?
- Nothing just “happens” for anyone.
No one gets lucky, had insane connections you could never acquire, or better circumstances.
It might look like they have better circumstances, but you’re comparing in one area.
They may not be struggling where you’re struggling, but you can bet they have their own issues they’re dealing with.
Maybe you’re hung up on knowing they have more money than you, so things must naturally be easier for them.
This is one of the most falsely assumed notions out there because we end up using money as an excuse.
We use it as our way out, and we also use it as a way to disqualify those above us when nine times out of ten those individuals have worked just as hard, if not harder, than many of us to get to where they are now.
2. No one started out as an expert at anything.
NO ONE.
Walt Disney, Harry Potter, Starbucks, none of these beloved things would be around today if their creators had given up on the first – even the 20th – try.
Did you know that Howard Schultz, the founder of Starbucks, was turned down by banks 242 times?
Did you know that Walt Disney’s theme park concept was trashed 302 times?
Or that Thomas Edison, the individual we owe thanks to for our lightbulbs, had 9,999 failures before he hit the jackpot?
NEVER underestimate the power of starting where you are and not giving up.
3. Nothing worth having comes easy.
We’ve all heard this before, but it’s true. If it would be easy, everyone would be doing it.
There would be nothing unique about our own individual discoveries.
That’s not to say one is above another, but to get good at something, it’s going to take time.
Practice, resilience and a determination so strong that nothing will keep you from showing up for it no matter how you feel.
We all have our definition of success, of what it means, but one thing we can probably all agree on is this:
It requires work. Hard work.
In the working and trying, don’t believe the lie that you have to be an expert to start.
JK Rowling didn’t write Harry Potter in one week.
Steve Jobs didn’t develop the iPhone overnight.
Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir didn’t win gold without showing up every morning for years at practice believing in themselves first.
Be okay with feeling a bit clueless.
Be okay with taking time to develop your craft.
Be okay with sucking at something when you start.
After all, it’s the first step towards becoming good at something.
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